petitpoussin (petitpoussin) wrote,

Sex Blogs: Yes, please!

If you check out my profile, you'll find, among other things, that I identify as a sex-positive feminist. There's a great conversation on how people come to identify themselves as sex-positive over at Bitch Lab, with a roundup of the names that led people to this identification (Gayle Rubin, Susie Bright, etc.). I threw in my two cents over there, but the bottom line is, I like sex. I don't and never have felt guilt about sex or any act that is categorized as such. So I'd like to give props to some like-minded women who write about sex honestly, with flair and an excellent sense of humor.

My foray into Sex Blogs started last summer when I was still living in London, and was sent a link to Belle de Jour, Diary of a London Call Girl. I've linked to this blog before, because it is a great, great read, and I'm not the only one who thinks so - Belle de Jour has published two books of her experiences in the U.K., the first of which has recently come out in the U.S. Now here's a woman rad-fems will jump all over: an escort by choice?! Sound the alarm! I've no idea if Belle de Jour identifies as a feminist, but she definitely does not take shit for her choices, not even from clients:

He: "So why do you do this?"

Me: "I'm not sure I have an answer to that."

"There must be something that you at least tell yourself."

"Well, perhaps I'm the sort of person apt to do something for no good reason other than I can't think of a reason not to."

"So if someone told you to jump off a bridge..."

"Depends on the bridge. Depends if they were paying. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Will you suck me now?"

Recently, Belle de Jour wrote about the continuing double standard in men and women writing about sex. This topic came up by way of explanation for her well-guarded anonymity, in response to a columnist asking why sex bloggers feel anonymity is necessary:

Do you wonder what it would take for women to be ‘empowered’ to ‘write under their real names’ (as the columnist so sloppily put it in the tacked-on feminist agenda of her final sentence)?

It would take fewer columns like hers for a start. It would take women’s writing being on an equal par with men’s – after all, Philip Roth can turn out an entire oeuvre about his masturbation habits and is feted as a giant of literature, while books by and for women are wrapped in brightly-coloured covers and published in paperback first[...]

It would take the success and intellectual heft of Zadie Smith being the rule, not the exception. It would take women being feted by the media because they’re good writers, not because they look good.

In the same post Belle de Jour mentions The Sexual Life of Catherine M., a book written by Catherine Millet, the respected editor of French journal Art Press (you can find a review of her book here). I read the book shortly after discovering Belle de Jour, and found it to be as analytical as any well-written critique of an exhibition. Belle de Jour is less coolly 'cerebral' in her approach to sex, but just as open and insightful, and quite often hilarious. Because, come on, half the fun of sex is how ridiculous it all is anyway.

[This post is the first in a four-part series. Stay tuned for more smart, sexy links!]
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